I have often asked myself why things are the way they are. I trusted Christ as my Lord and Savior at the age of 9. I've certainly made a lot of mistakes along my spiritual journey, but I can look back at my life and see a growing relationship with Him. While I have a lot to learn, I see God doing a great work in me, making me more like Christ everyday.
I also know the Bible never promises an easy life for a Christian. No where in Scripture do I read that as a believer it's smooth sailing from now through eternity. The Bible certainly promises us that God will provide for us, exactly what we need that's also consistent with His will for our lives. I mean, He owns the cattle on a 1,000 hills - it's all His anyway, and He desires to bless us in ways that keep us growing in Him.
But I must tell you, it's one thing to know these truths and another thing to truly believe them. Anyone can know information, but belief is what translates that knowledge to wisdom and trust. I've got to tell you that today, I'm really struggling with some of this. Not because I don't believe in God. Not because I doubt that Scripture is true and without error. But because living it is hard. Some days, like today, really hard.
When I get to this place, I remember several important things. God doesn't want to leave me where I am today. What I'm experiencing today is just another part of the spiritual journey He's got me on. That usually means the journey gets a little more difficult sometimes. God is faithful to His Word, only allowing what we can stand and always giving us the way of escape (1 Cor. 10:13).
I often remember the story in Mark 9:14-29, when Jesus & His disciples are approached by a man who has a son with a mute spirit in him. This is a pretty difficult situation, which the father describes in great detail. The man asked the disciples to heal his son, but they can't do it. As He usually does, Jesus uses this as a teachable moment for them (and me). He calls them out for their lack of faith, then gets more info from the man about his son.
Don't miss this next part. The father describes in even more detail how difficult the situation is with his son. It's a desperate situation, one that has no answers. But the man says something very important: "But if You can do anything, have compassion on us and help us" (v. 22). This says to me that even in his desperate state, the man believes that Jesus can do something to help. Jesus then makes the most important statement on this: "If you can believe, all things are possible to him who believes" (v. 23). Then the man makes a statement that so often summarizes perfectly where I am in times like this: "Lord, I believe: help my unbelief" (v. 24). Also notice he "cried out with tears". He came to the end of himself and cried out to Jesus for help.
I think the man is saying, I believe in You, Jesus. I know You can heal and provide for my son. But my belief is blurred by the situation, my desperation, the enemy telling me I can't do it, that the cause is hopeless, what I desire can't be done, and there's no hope. The text also tells me that the man tried everything he knew to do, and none of these things brought the healing his son needed. Only when he came to this point and surrendered to Jesus did everything fall into place. In fact, after this, Jesus healed his son.
I've told my students this before - you can know everything about God and the Bible, but unless it translates to faith, trust and belief, it will not mean anything. Can we really trust God to do what He says? Is there anything in our lives that is too difficult for Him? Can we believe He knows what's best for us, especially when it's not what we want or prefer? If God took away everything from me, would He still be enough?
I know the answers to these questions. The knowledge is in my head, based on a lot of years living as a Christian, going to church, listening to sermons & teaching, and reading the Bible. There are just some days, like today, when that knowledge is put to the test and is being moved from my head to my heart. It is being solidified into belief. So today, as the man in the story did, I cry out to God: "Lord, I believe: help my unbelief."
Mr. B.
